Insaknity

*There is nothing related to knitting, spinning, or crocheting in this post.

I saw this news report while drinking my morning coffee today and I almost spit it out.

Seriously? Spanking = Child Abuse?

That nurse in Arlington should be ashamed of herself for even suggesting it. And I’m ashamed that this is happening here in my (extended) community.

To even suggest that spanking should be classified as abuse, made a criminal offense, and be punishable by law is ludicrous. There is a huge difference between discipline and child abuse, and while some people sadly appear to be unable to make that distinction, I like to think that most are intelligent enough to know the difference. Just as most people, at least those of reasonable intelligence, should realize that the current methods of discipline aren’t really working all that well.

Take time-outs as an example of this, I sincerely have to question the effectiveness of them and the other forms of passive discipline that my generation has used on children. I can honestly say, at least in my opinion, that the effects of these methods have backfired horribly. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not against passive forms of discipline, but by and large, these methods are producing kids and young adults that are quite possibly the most self-absorbed, ill-behaved, rude, selfish, ignorant, materialistic, and violent generation yet. The overblown sense of entitlement I witness in the younger members of society at large is nothing short of amazing. And it seems to be only getting worse.

The teens and early twenty-somethings of today are the first generation to be raised in a society where spanking was considered both wrong and bad. These kids were told in school, by teachers and administrators, that spanking was equivalent to child abuse and that they should be told if their parents EVER raised a hand to them (at least some of the teachers here were telling the kids that little gem). Even then (this was 10 years ago) I knew it was the wrong message to be giving children and that the potential for false accusations was tremendous. Yes, as a result, there were many unfounded allegations of child abuse stemming from ticked off kids lying to teachers/administrators about being hit because they had been denied some form of entertainment/socializing by their parents.

As a result of this “new and improved”, exclusively passive disciplinary approach, most kids no longer have any fear of discipline. Parents couldn’t even threaten spankings because it would hold no significance. The kids knew that the parents were bluffing and that they weren’t willing to risk being charged with abuse. Kids 1, parents 0.

Being sent to your room is no longer the same punishment it was 20 years ago, either. At least it’s not when the rooms have tv’s, dvd players, stereos/mp3 players, computers, cell phones, and every other creature comfort known to mankind (see “materialistic”, mentioned above). Twenty years ago, my room had my bed and bedroom set, a desk, and a bedside clock radio (which I could not turn on if I was being sentenced to solitary confinement). Oh, and I had books. If I was being punished, The door had to stay open and I wasn’t allowed to read anything that was “fluff”, fun, or entertaining.

When I was a bit younger, if I had really fucked up, I got that dreaded spanking. I was spanked 3 times in my entire life. I remember each and every one of them and I never repeated any of the offenses that resulted in a spanking. While some things may have been worth getting sent to my room for, it was never worth repeating an offense that resulted in a spanking OR committing an offense that had the threat of spanking attached to it. Even when I was in my early teen years, the threat of a spanking still held steady at number 1 on my list of dreaded punishments.

Can time outs boast that kind of success rate? Not in my opinion.

Now I’m not saying that ALL kids are like this. So you can get your panties out of that bunch they’ve worked themselves into. I know that there are still good kids around and I’ve had the pleasure of encountering and knowing some of them. However, based on personal observations and the daily news reports, they sadly appear to be in the minority.

Also, please keep in my mind that my gripe is with the Commonwealth of Massachusetts even considering classifying spanking as child abuse. I sincerely hope that this bill is shot down immediately.

I am not judging your children or your child-rearing skills. This is simply what I observe on a regular basis and what I have experienced in the past with friends who have children.  I also don’t feel that spanking/discipline is a solution for all that is wrong with society.  But it sure couldn’t hurt to start them off by learning that if they do something wrong you’ll be punished and/or deprived of something you like and enjoy, huh?

Sorry for the rant. I just felt the overwhelming need/desire to voice my opinion on this subject.

Flames will be ignored and intelligent rebuttals are welcome.